bitched:

trying on new jeans in the fitting roomimage

burgrs:

hotdammysammy:

burgrs:

*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight

An orange is approximately 87 calories. If you were to eat 1,000 oranges that would be 87,000 calories.

its fruit i wont gain weight 

  • me: dad, im hungry
  • dad: oh hi hungry, im dad!
  • me: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now.

surprisebitch:

i was singing along to a song that had “bitch” in the lyrics, and my parents who are religious told me “you shouldnt be saying that word!”

and i’m just like

image

  • shrek's kid: dad... i'm... i'm gay
  • shrek: well, better out than in, i always say, eh? heheheheh someBODY ONCE
Anonymous wondered:
why do australians drink so much alcohol..

champagnepapa:

to forget that tony abbott is essentially in control of our lives